For my mother’s funeral the Rev. Dale Engle asked family members to write a favorite memory.

I didn’t mention the enema, although that’s the first memory that popped into my mind.

I think my first memory of mother was when my brother J.D. and I were fighting over who should turn out the light for bedtime.

“You’re closer.”


My mother, because Dad had to rise at 3 a.m. to go to the post office so mail could be delivered in the timely manner (anything but the next day was not acceptable to him) and mother had to work at 8 a.m., came in with a yardstick in hand.

One of her sons must have mouthed off. I’m sure it was J.D. that made the comment, but it was me she came after.

Needless to say, the yardstick broke in half.

That sparked an outburst of laughter by her two sons to which mother put the two pieces together for another swat.

I don’t really remember it hurting . . . much.

Here is what I wrote for the funeral.

“So you can get a better idea of our mother Nelda, we have made a number of changes here at the church.

“We removed all of the toilet paper. We found some old Sears Roebuck catalogs at the antique stores in town to replace the tissue.

“You are fortunate we couldn’t find corncobs.

“Mom was a fanatic when it came to nutritional supplements. For a while it was wheat germ.

“At the luncheon you may find wheat germ in the salad, and in the potatoes, and in the chicken.

“And in the ice cream.

“It was no secret to family that mother liked her vitamins. She didn’t take any medications but liked her vitamins.

“If by chance you attended her birthday party last May, she looked pretty good for being 90.

“So we will be selling those vitamins later today.

“I’m sure she would like to thank you all for attending.”

I know my mother taught me how to cook, how to sew, how to do dishes (for which I received a nickel) and how to can vegetables.

Those things mostly I have forgotten. We have a microwave, dishwasher and some guy name Del Monte canning both fruits and vegetables for us.

Last Friday this area received some much-needed rain. Depending on what part of the county was reporting, between an inch to close to an inch and a half fell in a short period of time.

For well over a year our pond which is on land she owns right behind the farm where we grew up has been so low the paddleboat didn’t make it out of storage. Last summer the pond completely dried up.

Friday evening my wife Kathy posted a picture on Facebook of water in the pond with at least nine feet of water covering the weeds.

“She’s only been with God for a few hours, but I’m sure they agreed the drought should be over. It’s been dry since December. Thanks, Nelda!”

By Friday night the pond was full so her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren had the opportunity to enjoy paddle boat rides Sunday before the funeral on Tuesday.

Our rain gauge recorded five inches.

Thanks again, Mom!

Contact Tim Horan at

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