I’ll do it on a rainy day!

How many times have we said or thought that?

Not that I haven’t played many rounds of golf on rainy days but when I moved many years ago I must have forgotten my golf umbrella.

So here is what I should be doing on rainy days:

• Read.

I’m almost finished reading the No. 1 New York Times bestseller “Sleeping Beauties” by Stephen and Owen King. I think there are only just 500 pages left. Sitting under it on my dresser is his newest novel “The Outsider.” I should have it finished by the 2020 election.

• Clean.

That’s a loaded verb. It could mean a lot of things.

There’s the closet. Most of the important documents are stored there. In a pile. Hey, at least I know where to look.

There’s the office. With a couple recent developments in my life, there’s been a lot of paperwork for me to look over. Yep, another pile, and again I know where every folder is located. No looking through file cabinet drawers searching for files that are in the wrong place.

Then there’s the storage room. It has everything from a video camera that may have been used five times, not that we have a video player anymore, to a 35 mm Canon AE-1 that hasn’t been used since Halley’s Comet.

Oh, the shop!

“A place for everything, and everything in its place” is a phase that I do not abide by, unless that place is on the workbench.

Sure, I have the plastic totes. There is some shelving. A couple cabinets are on the wall.

But the Phillips screwdriver, socket wrench, DVD player that has yet to be installed, a couple gallons of recently used paint, toolbox and probably a gallon of Roundup are all sitting where I can find them right under the television set which still has a turn dial.

There was the time my wife Kathy cleaned out the shop all by herself. Of course I thanked her over and over and over, though it took me a year to find a paintbrush. I found it quicker to drive to RHV.

• Go bowling.

I’m sure Tornado Alley would welcome me. I could probably get a free round just to provide entertainment. My father was a very good bowler. He just forgot to teach his son. My bowling average is close to my golf average.

“Thumb your nose,” Dad would say. And often the ball would end up in the adjoining lane. Do those pins count?

• Bake.

There was a time when I could bake: cookies, muffins, lemon meringue pie, even bread. I could even turn Graham crackers into a piecrust. Of course, there was that time someone put powered sugar in the flour jar. The muffins didn’t look very good but they tasted great.

Today I just heat up.

I do a great job of throwing something on the grill and drink a beer while it cooks. The microwave, something I didn’t have until after college, is great for heating up. You know what else is great for heating things? The AirFryer I got for my birthday last year. I haven’t used the oven since.

But here is what I actually do when it rains.

Get wet!

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