I can’t afford television anymore.
It used to be free.
That is, if you didn’t mind seeing Mr. Whipple catching someone squeezing the Charmin or hearing the sound of “plop, plop, fizz, fizz.”
In watching the Golden Globe Awards Sunday night, there was not one nominated television show nor TV actress or actor that I had watched in 2019.
That’s mainly because I can’t afford all of the new streaming networks.
Golden Globe host Ricky Gervais eluded to them in the monologue.
“No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to see the cinema. No one really watches network TV. Everyone’s watching Netflix,” he said. “Apple roared into the TV game with ‘The Morning Show’ as a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweat shops in China.
“If ISIS started a streaming service, you’d go meet their agent,” he said.
Some examples and their prices include: Netflix, $9/month; Apple TV+ $5/month; Prime Video $8.99/month; YouTube $50/year; Disney $7/month; ESPN+ $5/month; HBO $14.99/month; Showtime $11/month; Hulu $5.99/month; Sling $25/month; and AT&T TV $80/year.
There is also the cost of internet which we all have anyway, but we are unable to get the local ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox local programming without cable, Direct TV or Dish.
There’s also the extra cost of storing shows and movies in the Cloud.
By the time I would pay for just some of the streaming networks, it would cost more a month than the total cost of my first car.
Some of the winners at the Golden Globe Awards included:
• Best Drama — “Succession,” HBO
• Best Comedy — “Fleabag,” Prime Video
• Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television — “Chernobyl,” HBO
• Best Actress in a Limited Series — Michelle Williams, “Fosse/Verdon,” FX
• Best Actor in a Limited Series — Russell Crowe, “The Loudest Voice,” Showtime
• Best Actress in Drama — Olivia Colman, “The Crown,” Netflix
• Best Actor in a Drama — Brian Cox, “Succession,” HBO
I could go on. Another winner was Patricia Arquette for “The Act” on Hulu.
When “Bird Box” came out, we broke down and tried the Netflix free trial and after getting hooked, we now we pay $9 a month.
I got to watch the whole first three seasons of “Better Call Saul” just in time for the series to start again.
I’m sure next on the pay list is ESPN+ to be able to watch every K-State football and basketball game.
Thanks to my wife Kathy, I had seen three of the Golden Globe nominated movies, of which all three won awards.
For my birthday in July Kathy took me to “Rocketman” in the theater. Taron Egerton who played singer Elton John was a Golden Globe winner.
Over the holidays she suggested we use Pay per View to watch the lengthy movie “Once upon a Time...in Hollywood” for which Brad Pitt and writer/director Quentin Tarantino took home awards.
“Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and when it was over his date was too old for him,” Gervais joked about the long movie and DeCaprio’s tendency to date young women.
Just this week we watched “Judy” on Pay per View, another award winner for Renee’ Zellweger who played Judy Garland.
“The Irishman” on Netflix is on my list. As soon as football season is over and I have three and a half hours of nothing better to do, I’ll be watching that. At least, I’ll get my money’s worth.