Talk to your kids.

How many times did we hear or read that recommendation for parents?

Maybe what we should have been told is “listen to your kids.”

It seems there is a new program this fall mimicking Art Linkletter’s “Kids Say the Darndest Things” which was later remade as a series with Bill Cosby.

We certainly have had laughable moments over the years in my family. There are too many to recall but here are some:

Our daughter Robin read an article about asking your teenager different questions after school instead of the typical “how was your day?”

So one day recently she tried it.

Robin: “Were you kind to anyone today?”

Landon, age 13: “What? Why would you ask me that? Of course (with a giant eye roll.)”

Robin: “Was someone kind to you?”

Landon: “Stop asking me these questions.”

Tuesday my granddaughter Gemma was screwing on the legs of an electric skillet that had just arrived in the mail.

“Here’s the remote,” Gemma said, opening a small box and handing Kathy the thermostat control.

Landon to Robin: “I sure hope you aren’t one of those ladies who wears tons of makeup everyday.”

Robin: “I don’t think I am. Yesterday I didn’t wear any makeup at all.”

Landon: “Yeah, I could tell.”

Another time she asked him if he wanted to go walk on the beach with her. His reply? “NO! That’s something honeymooners do!”

When he was three, he wore a tiger stocking cap that his parents nicknamed the “stop looking at me hat” because he would frequently say that loudly. He always thought people were staring at him. They probably were. He was pretty cute.

Once, about the same time in his life, when he had followed his mother all through the house, his mother asked if he was her shadow. “No, Mom, I’m your sunshine.”

Going through the drive through at Hardees which is now Burger King years ago, the attendant asked, “Would you like any condiments with that?

Our tween son Ryan said with a smirk, “Condiments?”

My wife, knowing what he was referring to said, “That would be catsup, mustard or mayonnaise.”

Nearing the end of a 12 hour ride from Abilene to Columbus, Ohio, Kathy, her mother Doreen, and Robin got the giggles which quickly became hysterical laughing.

Four-year-old Hayden yelled from the backseat, “Stop laughing. We’re going to wreck!”

My father-in-law always wore old shoes to mow in and sometimes those were old dress shoes. Five-year-old Hayden asked him where he was going as he was putting on those shoes. When he was told “to mow,” Hayden said, “In your WEDDING shoes?”

Whenever he played board games with family members and won, that same five-year-old would throw his hands up in the air and declare, “I’m the winter!”

Family dinners sometimes contained laughable quotes, too. My wife asked me to pass the C-A-T-S-U-P discreetly to avoid our three-year-old son Ryan covering his plate with it. He piped up, “I want some C-A-T-S-U-P, too!” And, yes, he spelled it correctly!

My mother used to tell the story about me asking the family at the dinner table if they wanted to hear a dirty joke. That question was met with silence. “A boy fell in the mud,” I said.

If you are feeling down, spend a few moments with a child and really listen. They usually come up with some gems.

Contact Tim Horan at

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